Ellen Huang: Split Attraction
Photo: Joanna C. Valente
Split Attraction
I cannot fathom where in the sea of spirits and cells one ends and one begins. / When the alien, the prophecy, the mermaid / loses its tail and transformative flash / and becomes what we call / human.
Another thing is love. / Is love already in the heart, before we could love ourselves? / Is love an implant into our clay and dirt, or original light? / Is love tied to our mind, or the foil to our brain matter? / Is the dark starry night of love that calls us / tied to our ends, where life begins? / Is separating love from our inside out / our work to do?
But for some, there is not even an inside-out / to twist or break / merely an awakening into the love / we already wear on our sleeves. The glow of all the seasons of the world / working in our winglike arms, our delicate fingers / our body types of hearts or diamonds or spades. Our grounded weights, sitting beside you in the shade on the edge of the bed / without so much as a crossover of beings. Our lifting feet, / fleeting across the dance of time / running to embrace every friend like the end of the world. Touch, / and static, and butterflies, the flow of souls without fluid exchange.
What sword splits / the private from the extension of self, the affection from the intimate, the blush from the rush? What words cut / the overflowing domestic dreams / from the platonic youthful fantasies? What light pries apart the held hands / to the held bodies, the magnetism of minds / to this apparent gravity of wandering creatures? I hardly know where one ends and one begins, but why does it matter? Our hearts beat the same, listen carefully, and that is compassion/satisfaction to me.
This poem originally appeared in our ebook The Queer Body.
Ellen Huang holds a BA in Writing & a minor in Theatre from Point Loma Nazarene University. She is the retired Managing Editor, now a Peer Reviewer, for Whale Road Review. She has pieces published/forthcoming in 50+ venues, including Aze, Amethyst Review, Awkward Mermaid, Diverging Magazine, Rogue Agent, briars lit, Royal Rose, Thimble Lit, and Prismatica, among others. Much of her work is grounded in themes of progressive faith and platonic love. Follow her creative work: worrydollsandfloatinglights.wordpress.com.
