When talking about my birth,
my mother never fails to mention my refusal to enter the world.
The pathway was cleared for me but as I was forced out
I had realized,
nature got it all wrong.
As the years passed, so did every aspect of my femininity.
My true form had become restless.
I dreaded every minute of my existence.
Hated my lack of a masculine voice and my absence of a defined manhood.
I shed the skin that belonged to
Maria Fernanda Vivas.
Courage had taken a chance.
Appeared when I needed her most,
carried me through my dysphoria and self-hatred.
Fear didn’t fall short behind.
Took hold of my fragile hands and enveloped them around my neck.
Insomnia laid with me,
as I felt sweltering tears roll down my face.
Depression deprived of attention,
placed a metal blade in my line of sight.
As I was slipping from a blood-stained rope,
two more people had to make an appearance.
I waltzed with Christ and kissed Cain.
To you, I chose the devil.
But I am sitting at God’s drawing table.
He wants to finally get it right.
I’ve been transformed by angels,
transcended into one.
I am transgender.
Tyler Vivas is a creative writing student at Miami Arts Charter, located in Miami, Florida. His favorite form of writing is poetry and hopes to publish a poetry book one day. He wants to be able to inspire others to write without fear and with courage.