Bob Raymonda: Curbside Pickup
Photo: Joanna C. Valente
CURBSIDE PICKUP
There’s never been a worse
time to linger—to pore over
the hastily thrown together
menu taped to the window
of our favorite Michelin
starred restaurant. And yet
here you are, hawking loogies
in the waning sunlight and
leering at each masked person
who dares to pass you by.
It feels unnatural to experience
such heart palpitations by your
mere presence, but I do and now
I want nothing more than to bury
you shoulder deep in concrete;
nevertheless, I hate confrontation,
so I just pop out of the car to close
the trunk and do my best to play
deaf to whatever you’ve bothered
to say to me. The process takes
maybe ten minutes that feel
like an eternity, the numbers on
the clock slipping away in drips
and drabs. For a moment, we
wonder if it was even worth it
until we get home and realize:
They hooked it up.
TO EVERY THING THERE IS A NIC CAGE, AND A TIME TO EVERY PURPOSE UNDER HEAVEN
A Nic Cage who is actually two Nic Cages,
neither of whom are Nic Cage at all.
A Nic Cage who howls at the moon over
a lost hand and a lost love, respectively.
A Nic Cage who sold his soul to the devil,
for a chance to clear 30 buses on a motorbike.
A Nic Cage who plundered the Declaration
of Independence, in the name of hidden treasure.
A Nic Cage who battled with the spirit of
a 1970’s prog rock concept album cover.
A Nic Cage who was trapped inside
a basket with a swarm of raging bees.
A Nic Cage who protected the streets of
a 1930’s New York City dressed all in black.
A Nic Cage who traded places with the man
whose face he borrowed, just because he could.
A Nic Cage who I love, dearly, for his
manic reliability and sheer force of nature.
A Nic Cage who explodes into a cloud
of hungry dust, simply because he felt like it.
A Nic Cage who’s withheld the secret,
the method that’s behind his madness.
A Nic Cage who would happily do it
all over again, if only we’d ask nicely.
Bob Raymonda is the Founding Editor of Breadcrumbs Magazine. In 2018 they co-founded the podcast production company Rogue Dialogue, which released its first show, the science-fiction audio drama Windfall, in February of 2019, and second, the Catholic confessional sitcom, Forgive Me! in 2020. Their work has been featured in Luna Luna Magazine, Bello Collective, Peach Magazine, and Discover Pods, among others. Learn more at www.bobraymonda.co.
