katixa espinoza: Confuse Thumbs for Cocks
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prime oral fixation / used to bite cuticles until they bled

psycho                                                  analyze   self

 

to miss sucking / to feel childlike

naptime with a thumb in    mouth / to feel comforted by mother when she was away

crave love and safety more than milk

 

now  confuse thumbs for cocks / crave comfort in the body attached to it

find

comfort in other bodies / a home in one

where     mother’s lamb chops are served for dinner

 

you called    lamb chop

an excuse to

take pleasure in inflicting pain / chop    up / devour  

until there is

no body

left.

 

all that would be left are abandoned thumbs /  to remind   to keep sucking

a relic from trauma / oral to phallic obsessions /  use      teeth     

chew on thumbs rather suck / inflict the pain ridden in    body   

thumbs remind me of your body  /  i chew on them until they bleed

a defense mechanism  

 

i    hope    it   hurt


katixa espinoza is a 20 yr old miami native, latinx writer residing in brooklyn, new york. she fulfills her art student quota by drinking one mocha coffee a day and likes to yell at people who don’t recognize their privilege. her works can be found on Sea Foam Mag, Textploit, and other places as well. she yells into the void at katixaespinoza.com